He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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