New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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