Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize