Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
