I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
