Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
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and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
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I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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