I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
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Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
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Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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