If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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