I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
