Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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