You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
