Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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