God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
