mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
