i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
