Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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