Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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