smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
