Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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