Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize