Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I have fence marks all over my body
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
