So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
