Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think my vagina is haunted
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
