whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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