No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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