This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
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BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
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On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Come on in and take your pants off
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