what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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