dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
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Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
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Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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