yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A+ Viking dick
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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