i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
