I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
