i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
