The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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