another moral hangover. fuck.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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