He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
apparently the secret to your success is patron
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize