Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
