I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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