I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
