oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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