we made out on top of his cat.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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