First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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