can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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