I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
