either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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