If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
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