Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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