The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
