Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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