there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
high people should be assigned attendants
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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