I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
