I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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