he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
