My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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