just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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