the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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