All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
