Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
