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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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