I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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