I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
