So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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