Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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