it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
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