THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize