those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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