Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
