and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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