No awkward lesbian experiences without me
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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